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Mom Fail Friday: The One Where Health Was Underrated

How have I failed my children? This is a tough one for me. I am very much a perfectionist and don’t like to admit my failings. Overall, I don’t think there are too many, I don’t allow them for myself. I am always very on top of things and rarely forget anything with regards to the kids, and I am very involved.

So how have I failed my children? After thinking long and hard about this, I have to say my biggest failing would have to be letting myself get fat and unhealthy and not happy with myself. It’s not me. Some of it happened slowly, but about a year ago, I gained 40 pounds in 4 months.

Now, I have a good excuse.

I have thyroid disease and couldn’t get my medication in that time. I didn’t eat more, but didn’t eat less and didn’t get more active like I should have. After I finally got back on the medication that I needed, I was wiring new surround sound speakers up in the attic and seriously hurt my shoulder which gave me an excuse not to workout.

As the shoulder was still hurt, I sprained my left ankle. Then while I was getting the shoulder checked out a week or so after the ankle healed, I sprained my opposite wrist. Finally, while I was in physical therapy (literally I was there at the place) for the shoulder, I sprained my right ankle. That took me through about the first 9 months of last year. I had great excuses for not getting the weight off, but ultimately, that’s all they were—excuses. I hate excuses! I needed to take responsibility for myself.

Like I said, some of the weight came on slowly and I let it happen, blaming it on pregnancy and getting older but always felt like a thin person trapped in a chubby body. I still stayed active and acted goofy and young, riding my daughter’s scooters and things. I just didn’t look the way I wanted to. I wasn’t healthy and I wasn’t setting a good example for my children. How could I make them go out and play if I wasn’t with them (It didn’t stop me, I just felt like a hypocrite).

Mentally and emotionally, I wasn’t anywhere near a place I felt good about. I couldn’t look at myself and be happy. That was NOT what I wanted my two girls to see. I think I did a pretty good job of hiding that part from them (most of my friends didn’t see it), but with all the negative body messages out there now, I do not want to contribute to it.

It’s not that I want to be skinny.

That’s just not ever going to happen, nor would I want it too. In college, I was a size 3, but I still wasn’t skinny. Even looking at pictures of me in a bikini at that point, I looked very toned, but have always been muscular and curvy, not skinny. I was built like a gymnast, very compact and weighed more than I looked like. I don’t think it’s realistic to think about getting there and that’s fine.

I felt confident enough at a size 10 that I posed nude for professional photographs that are decorating my bedroom. And they look great. I like my curves, but got to the point that they weren’t so much curves as lumps. This wasn’t the message that I wanted to send to my daughters and it was greatly affecting other aspects of my life that would ultimately affect the girls as well.

So, 7 ½ weeks ago, I made a commitment to myself and my family. I was going to get in shape. It would require a complete lifestyle makeover, but I had hit bottom and there was only one way to get back to the top. The weight would come off, but really, I just wanted to feel better about myself, my life and my body. So, I talked to the doctor, cut back on calories and got very active.

I cut out soda and even most of the coffee I was drinking. If I do get it now, it is with Splenda and kkim. The shoulder was still hurting, but I couldn’t take my own excuses anymore. I started The Biggest Loser for Wii. On the days off from that, I ride my bike 8-10 miles or do another workout if it is raining. A few nights a week I take the family to the tennis courts in the community and we play tennis for an hour or so.

So, I am happy to say, that I will no longer fail myself or my family with regards to this issue.

At the 7 week mark, I have lost 17 pounds and 3 ½ inches off my waist. I put on a pair of shorts today that I can’t even remember when I last wore them because I couldn’t even come close to getting them done up. Not only can I now get them on, but they are comfortable. I broke down in tears today when I put them on.

I see such a difference mentally and emotionally since I started working out that if that were the only side effects, I would be happy. I cannot and will not let myself fail in this way again. I make that promise to myself, my children, my husband (who loved me no matter what and would never say anything), and to all my friends.

I will stay healthy and active and energized.

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Article by CreativeDecoMom

I love to decorate. I love to get a good bargain and love making things. I have to be different. I don't like to be put in a box or categorized in any way. This is probably why I am the PTA and HOA president with the purple hair. I am the mother of two beautiful girls who keep me more than a little busy. CreativeDecoMom tagged this post with: , Read 15 articles by

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