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Hello, My Name Is Mom: Meet Lizz

We all have a unique background and personality. Everyone has a different story, journey and title but we all have one thing in common—someone special calls us Mom. This series celebrates all moms, no matter how we got the title. Today’s featured mom is Lizz—one of the funniest moms on Twitter and sweet as can be when you meet her in person! Plus, she has her own version of WTF Wednesday, and we can definitely get behind that.

If you had to write a bio without including your kids or any form of the word Mom, what would it say? I forget. I’ve been a mom so long, a stay-at-home mom, that I have nothing else to describe me. So wait. Is this like how I would describe myself currently just leaving the kids/mom part out. Or is this what I think my life would have been like if I never had kids. Or possibly what my life would be like if I sold my kids “as-is” on ebay today? I am making this too hard. I’m getting sweaty pits and flashbacks of Finite Math test anxiety. Let me start typing and see what comes out.

I was born in 1974 after being conceived in the back of a Ford Galaxy by 2 teenage hippies who probably smoked too much weed. Allegedly. Those teens actually beat the odds, got married and we became a nice little family. I had a sickeningly normal and stable childhood. This included having a raging case of the first born syndrome, having younger twin brothers to wrangle, and being an all around know-it-all-goody-two-shoes. How I did not get my ass kicked on the playground daily, I don’t know. I look back and I want to kick my own ass and say “live a little”! Quit worrying about perfect grades and not following the rules. Have some fun. Fool around with some boys. Break some hearts. Steal your dad’s car. Show off that rack. Get drunk before it’s legal. Pose for Playboy (true story, I was approached when they first started their website in the 90s, but declined). But dude. Finish college. My big regret. My major in journalism and my minor in theater never came to fruition. I don’t know why I decided at that point to veer off my goody goody existence. Oh wait. I was too busy banging my new love, the guy who would become my husband and I failed all my classes and dropped out. Way to go. That’s what I get for finally showing off that rack.

How did you get the name Mom? Heh. Well. You see, there was this birth control. Except I wasn’t on it. I hadn’t been for about 4 months. Something about being too lazy to take the bus to the clinic to refill my prescription. Plus, my cycles were wonky and unpredictable. So, one night, my then fiance, now husband, came home from a night DJing at the gay bar. I’m trying to remember why I didn’t go that night. It was our second home. Like Cheers…only it was gay, so more like Queers. Anyway, he came home and I was in bed, and there was some alcohol (job hazard for DJs) and… I’ll pause while you put the rest of the story together. *files nails* Ok. So then 2 weeks later my boobs hurt and that was my signal that my period was coming. Always. Without fail. Except, they hurt for about a week and a half instead of a day or two. I was standing there in the Men’s Department at Lazarus (now Macy’s) where I was a supervisor and this pregnant lady walked past me and LIGHTBULB! I went to CVS on my break and bought a test. And when that second line appeared, I got the name Mom. Oops.

What is your favorite thing about being a mom? Child labor. I kid! I kid! Sort of.

No, it’s actually hard to describe. Watching these beings that I made (with help) grow from 2 cells into people. I mean it’s like taking simple ingredients and turning it into a fabulous casserole that everyone loves. Except multiply that feeling by about 300,000. Listening to my 2 year old get a grasp on language from one word demands to full on sentences. She sings and dances. Watching my 8 year old’s interests flow from one thing to another. And though they change often, he meets each one with the enthusiasm as if he’s found his life’s passion. Gently guiding my 12 year old from his naive state of boyhood into a teenager, where he is faced with the real world head-on. It’s all about watching them discover life on their own terms. Sure, we have hiccups along the way, I am just doing my part to ensure job security for future therapists. But the best part is how I look at them and I am still shocked every single day at how beautiful they are inside and out. It may take a back burner when I’m fed up with their fighting over the Wii and am ready to lock them in the crawlspace with angry badgers. But every day I think to myself, at least once, “damn, we make some beautiful kids”. That? Never wanes.

What is your biggest motherhood challenge? No one prepared me for how tied my emotions would be to their emotions. I mean there was always the “you will never know love like the love you feel for your kids”. I got that before I had them. But it’s not just love. I get high on their joy, their accomplishments, their laughter. I’ve been so proud that I, quite literally, thought my heart would burst open right there in the gym during the spelling bee and how horrifying it would be for the custodian who had to deal with that mess. But that’s the good part. The challenge lies with when your child is hurt, whether it is physically, mentally, or emotionally. I didn’t know that I would feel their pain 100 times harder than they would feel it. I remember what it was like to have someone call me a name as a kid. It kind of sucks. Having to experience that by proxy as the parent of the victim, that sucks harder than a Dyson. I know what it feels like right before the curtain goes up on stage. Being in the audience, when my child is behind that curtain? There is not enough antiperspirant in the world. When our dog died this summer, my heart broke in two over the loss of my dog. Then my heart shattered into a billion pieces when I had to watch the kids grieve for their dog. I had no idea that emotions could run so deep. Keeping those in check, and putting on my brave face for them, being their rock, when all I want to do is cry, or get angry, or kick some 8 year old douchebag bully tail. That is the biggest challenge.

If you could say one thing to every new mother, what would it be? This is easy for me. I recently wrote a piece about the mommy wars because I am so freaking SICK of moms coming down on other moms about their decisions. We should be supporting each other in motherhood, not tearing each other down because being a mom is hard enough without your peers judging your every move. That said, my parenting motto is, and has been for about 11 years (I “got it” a year after my oldest was born), DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO STAY SANE. It’s that simple. Don’t be the mom someone else thinks you should be. Be the mom you CAN be.

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Article by miscmom

This is a site by moms, for moms—filled with tips, tricks & tools that are tried & true. Miscellaneous Mom is for all of us who answer to the name mom—even those of us who think they just don’t fit. Stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, work-out-of-the-home mom&—does the label really matter? miscmom tagged this post with: , Read 29 articles by

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2 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Jen says:

    Love that last line – “Be the mom you can be.”

    Enjoyed meeting Lizz at BlogIndiana and fun to read more about you here today!

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom. LOL’ing cause I think you’ll think that’s funny.

  2. Pollyanna says:

    I got all choked up about the emotions being one of the biggest motherhood challenges. I totally agree. When my daughter was kicked out of a dance group (not an organized one with an adult supervisor) the day they were going to perform for a bunch of other kids, I wanted to knock the teeth out of the “ringleader”. I was angry, but my heart was broken and the hurt ran so deeply, knowing that someone had done this to my sweet, fun-loving, kind-hearted child.

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