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When Her Heart Breaks

Here in Fairytale Land we’ve had a few heartbreaking days, consecutively. For the past 2 days the princess has come home from school crying and feeling defeated. Nothing prepared me for the heartbreak that I would feel by not being able to make it all better.

I remember middle school being really rough for me. I was unsure about my body. I was uncomfortable being smart, but hated being less than smart. I failed tests on purpose. I placed too much value on what other people thought and said about me. My self esteem was lower than slime on the bottom of a pond rock. And, I never said a word to anyone about it.

I opted, instead, to make really bad choices…

So, now I’m looking at my beautiful 10 year old girl thinking that I’ve never seen anything more amazing in all of my days, and she is feeling defeated, alone and self conscious. I know all of those feelings all too well. I know the pain of imaginary inadequacy. I know the heartbreak of not feeling like I fit in. What I do not know, is how to explain to the most amazing girl I know, that it all gets better.

I feel her heartbreak amplified a hundred times. When I felt these things it was bad, but watching it happen to my girl is more than I can bear.

This mom fail is bigger than anything I know how to fix or manage. I failed her somehow by not addressing my own past. It turns out that the sins of the mother are the sins of her daughter..


This post is linked up to Pour Your Heart Out.

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Article by FairyTaleMom

My name is Mom. I live in Fairy Tale Land with a Pirate, a Fairy and the Princess. My job duties include: head cook, Chief Executive of Laundry Operations, Vacuum Maintenance Engineer, Chief of Picking up Random objects and Primary Sherpa. I spend a great deal of time carrying sparkly, sequined, glitter covered tutus and miscellaneous dance shoes for the Princess. I long for moments of quiet and a mani/pedi. Trying to strike a balance between being a grown up and being a good mom. FairyTaleMom tagged this post with: , , Read 52 articles by

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4 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Kim says:

    That is so hard! I remember feeling so helpless with our girls through middle school and high school.

    Probably the one thing I wish I had done more of was listen more and jump in to problem solve less.

    Good luck and blessings to you!

  2. Shell says:

    I can’t imagine this from the parenting side. I remember how big and important every little thing seemed when I was a tween/teen. Those years scare me with my own.

  3. You have not failed! You can still talk to her about this. You can address your past with her, on your own first, with the help of friends, or with the help of a caring counselor. Tell her it gets better. even if she doesn’t fully believe you, I think we all need to hear that from someone who has been there when we are going through something rough.

  4. It’s so hard when our children are hurting and we feel like we can’t do anything about it. Being there for her and listening is huge, though, and telling her it will get better is, too. I’m not sure a mom dealing with her own past will fully prevent a daughter from ever experiencing these kind of feelings. At middle school age, peers and their social environment are such a huge influence, that we can’t really expect to shield them from all the hard stuff. But like I said, being there for them is huge.

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