Over the last few months, we’ve decided our family isn’t quite … complete. Yet, I stand by my decision several years ago — I am all done having babies.
When I picture growing our family, I don’t see a baby. Or even a toddler. I see a little boy, fitting in just under the youngest. Since this is exactly the opposite of how I saw all of our other children, I knew there was something to it.
And, so, we’ve decided to expand our family through older child adoption.
I’ve always thought I would foster one day. In fact, I put it on my original 40×40 list. But, I’m just not sure how well I could handle it when they have to leave again. Plus, we’d like to permanently expand our family. Instead, we’ll be going through the foster care system, to adopt a child who needs a forever family.
My emotions are all over the board right now. I’m excited, nervous, happy, and even a little sad. Sad that there are so many children waiting for a family. Sad that for us to have a son, a little boy will have to go through so much first.
Mostly, though, I’m just in awe of the potential. I wonder what he’ll be like. I wonder how I’ll parent a boy. I wonder how the girls will take to a brother. And, I can’t wait to see how the youngest handles the role of big sister.
I can’t wait to see this amazing dad with a little boy. I can’t wait to watch a third generation adoptive dad as he learns to father a son. I just can’t wait to add to our family.
Which is why I started filling out the adoption packet today, even though we originally said we’d wait until the New Year. We still will, really, because our agency doesn’t have the required classes until January. I just like knowing the process will get started.
And, having the illusion of a control, at least for a little while, before we begin this roller coaster ride.