There’s something in adoption referred to as artificial twinning, when you adopt a child who falls within a 1-year age range from a child already in the home. It has both positives and negatives, and I researched it all. In the end, we decided not to do it because we felt our youngest’s strong personality could overshadow a child in transition.
Turns out, she’s not the one I needed to be considering in the first place. The two tweens are actually more than a year apart but both in the same grade. Developmentally, they’re very close in age, and they quickly bonded as siblings. We call them the twins.
They move in tandem. They flow towards one another. They each consider the other before making a decision. She wears his clothes; he crushes on her friends. They’re connected in ways the rest of the family will never understand. And I’m not the only one who sees it.
The boy’s case manager is the one who first said it aloud during one of her home visits. “They’re twins.” was her simple statement. And people ask all the time — when we’re out and about, when I’m parenting two 6th graders at a school function, when they suddenly realize the kids are siblings at all.
“Oh. Are they twins?”
No. But yes.
And we couldn’t be more blessed.